Ready for normal

First published in the Wakefield Daily Item Forum, August 18, 2020.

Are you ready for some normal? I am.

I’m not normally a fan of normal. It makes me angry when the idea of normal gets used to exclude people or things because they’re different or unusual – as in the thoughtless cruelty of children towards a kid who’s geeky or quirky. Personally, I like it when people look or act differently than I do, or different from the current norm; variety and positive difference attract me, and make me curious to find out more about them.

But right now, I’m not talking about the kind of clique-y, conformist, small-minded normal that excludes and ostracizes. No, in these abnormal and exhausting times, the truth is I find myself yearning for a more positive normal. You all know where I’m coming from. Just turn on the news. It seems like every day we reach new, head-shaking lows when it comes to the behavior and speech of some of our public leaders. Lying, name-calling, demagoguery, disputing basic facts and science as if there were two sides to every truth – the accumulation of all this has created a “new normal,” a noticeable decline in the fabric of society and how Americans relate to and communicate with each other.

Okay, you got me: by “public leaders” I’m talking primarily about Donald Trump. Leaders set the tone of what is normal for the people they govern, whether it’s a town like Wakefield, or a whole country. There is no question that Trump has changed what we think of as normal behavior from a president – and not in a good way. His core guiding principle is not figuring out whether something is right or wrong, but rather, whether he can get away with it. It’s well-documented that he has publicly uttered many thousands of false or misleading claims (lies) as president. He seems completely incapable of feeling empathy for the plight of others. He creates insulting, cartoonish nicknames for people who criticize or resist him. He attacks them personally, calling them “vicious” or “horrible” or “nasty.” It’s obvious he couldn’t care less about basic decorum, rules, or laws, including the Constitution, seeing these only as obstacles to surmount in his pursuit of #winning – i.e. retaining and consolidating power.

This behavior has been “normalized” through constant repetition over time. It has become the water we swim in. While the water may not feel so different day-to-day, it’s definitely different than it used to be. If you doubt this, just do a simple thought experiment. Think back to five years ago and imagine how people would have responded if President Obama had tweeted the following (though attacking corresponding Republican leaders): “Our case against lyin’, cheatin’, liddle’ Adam ‘Shifty’ Schiff, Cryin’ Chuck Schumer, Nervous Nancy Pelosi, their leader, dumb as a rock AOC, & the entire Radical Left, Do Nothing Democrat Party, starts today at 10:00 A.M. on @FoxNews, @OANN or Fake News @CNN or Fake News MSDNC!” Or go back fifteen years to imagine George W. Bush saying the following about Mexican immigrants: “They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.” Or go back thirty-five years to imagine Ronald Reagan railing against NATO allies for not paying their fair share of dues and suggesting to aides that we withdraw from the alliance. We’ve come a long way down.

The constant lying is especially abnormal. Some might wonder, if the president has told over twenty-thousand lies while in office (which he has), does it really matter if he tells one more? Well, yes, it does matter. You know it does. What’s more, the consequences of the president’s inability to tell or deal with the truth have been starkly, tragically highlighted during the pandemic. His denial, resistance, and delay in responding to science-based facts, warnings, and advice during the early spread of the virus have led to tens of thousands of avoidable deaths of American citizens. That’s not normal, it’s criminal.

So if leaders set the example of what is normal and acceptable, for other leaders and for the rest of us, what might be some basic guidelines for what’s bad and what’s good? Here’s a start:

Bad normal

Lying, name-calling, racist/misogynist/bigoted rhetoric, cozying up to tyrants, trashing our long-time allies, systematically destroying government institutions, denying science, calling fact-based reporting “fake news,” tweeting constantly and in ALL CAPS, dividing people based on difference

Good normal

Common decency, honesty, empathy for those less fortunate, valuing diversity, respect for and adherence to the rule of law, building alliances for a safer and more stable world, science-based policy, improving government institutions so they can serve people better, unifying people based on what we have in common

Pretty obvious, right? These guidelines aren’t political, or shouldn’t be. They’re not liberal or conservative, Democratic or Republican. If our former Massachusetts Republican governor, now Utah senator, Mitt Romney, had been nominated and elected in 2016, I’m certain I would have disagreed with most of his politics & policies. (I’m more progressive.) But Romney is nothing if not normal and I believe would have stayed within the simple guidelines above. In fact, it’s a mark of our country’s devaluing of normal common decency – in our leaders and in ourselves – that a candidate like Trump would defeat a more normal, Romney-like candidate (in 2016, Jeb Bush or John Kasich).

If the presidency of Donald Trump has shown anything, painfully, it is that leadership matters when it comes to shaping our sense of what’s normal. Common decency and a moral compass are not nice-to-haves for public leaders – they are absolutely crucial must-haves, the foundation without which true leadership cannot exist. Level doesn’t matter. In Wakefield, we wouldn’t elect a Town Councilor who was an obvious and constant liar. Why would we ever allow that in a POTUS?

If you’re considering voting for Trump this November, it seems to me you have one of two possible mindsets. Either you’re OK with his lying and lack of character and don’t see it as wrong. Or, you feel that whatever value Trump brings – tax cuts, right wing judges, deregulation, owning the libs – is worth having an amoral demagogue as president. But it’s not worth it. As former First Lady Michelle Obama warned in her powerful speech at the Democratic Convention, as far down as our sense of normal has come in the last four years, it can sink much further still. With Donald Trump setting the tone for the next four years, more and more people will only feel freer to lie, cheat, and openly vent their hatred and prejudice. That will make for a truly nightmarish new normal.

We need to get back to normal. Better yet, let’s move forward to create a better normal. We can do this by treating each other with common decency and respect, by valuing empathy and compassion for others over our individual comfort and convenience, by telling the truth ourselves and demanding it of our leaders, and by electing leaders of good character who, following Lincoln, will exemplify and appeal to “the better angels of our nature.”